Beware; Parents With Camera

What is it with parents and the need to communicate when their kids do things that millions of other kids have done, and will do in the future? A parade of photos and videos of burping, eating, sitting, walking and talking kids with hysterically proud parents announcing it like if it was the cure for cancer. 





In my mind, when your child is born, you have in your arm this tiny person, so small, so fragile, and so completely dependant on you to take care of it. And for some reason, this image get stuck in your mind. So whenever your child does something, burp, eat, sit or similar, you remember that tiny, fragile person that now can stick peas into his or hers nose by themselves.

Flipping It

I have always had a bad back now that I sit and stare into a computer monitor all day long. However with two children, my back now look back at this with a fond memory of what can only be considered a slight discomfort compared to what it has to endure now.

And it is obviously all my fault. It is not like Miss Cupcake came up with the idea of standing on my shoulders by herself, to later scream 'flip it', which is the queue for me to do exactly that - flip her. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but after a couple of times, the back is begging for mercy. So it is nice to had Mr Bear around, that takes 'flipping it' to a whole new, more mellow level.

DJ Bear

To be honest, my one goal with my kids is for them to be good people. Honest, kind, compassionate and loving people that take decisions based on what they believe in, and not what their surrounding pressures them into. I don't really care about what path they choose professionally, what soccer team they decide to support or where they decide to live. I just want them to be good people. 

They can have the hobbies they want; I will not intervene but try to be supportive. Except to brainwash them to be music lovers of course. Maybe it is as simple as life has a lot of ups and downs, and you need a good soundtrack to go with it. When Miss Cupcake was around two she let me know that the Beatles was on the radio - very proud dad. And Mr Bear is not far behind... 

There are some similarities in technique with Miss Cupcake...

Search Engine Optimization

Being on the same page is essential to be able to have meaningful communication. If this is not achieved, misunderstandings are very likely. An example you say? Lately at my place you hear frequently comments like 'how cute he is', or 'he looks so handome with that shirt', you know, comments that makes a man feel good about himself. However this is followed by 'time to change his diper' or 'he pooped himself', which most of the time means they are not talking about me.

The Big Sister

Imagine a beautiful, sunny, Disney sponsored morning. Squirrels running along tree branches and birds singing an a cappella 'good morning' while a baby deer appears in a sunlit meadow. Also imagine an innocent boy, unaware of the dangers of life, sitting quietly minding his own business, munchkin on some candies. Nothing would ever be the same. 

Because into the scene enters the big sister, sitting alongside the young boy. She happily informs him of this new, exciting game that they have to play. It is very simple; the person that is able to give away most candy to the other person, will win. I still have problems talking about what happened next, but let's just say that I won. Big time.  World record.

Xylophone Speed Metal

If you follow this blog, which you all obviously do, it comes as no surprise that Miss Cupcake is a natural born rocker. It comes with her DNA it seems. Drumming, jamming, even free-styling - you name it, she's done it! So there is a lot to learn from Miss Cupcake when it comes to some serious hardcore rock. 

I Pledge to the Cupcake

One of the most common questions I get, apart from general appraisals of my moustache (construction workers included), is around the 'cultural belonging' of my beloved Miss Cupcake. Yes, we have a need to define everything, so how do I define the nationality of my child? She was born in Madrid, Spain, father from north of Sweden, mother from what is left of Spain, and has lived most of her life in the US; has some kind of identification in three countries, and will sing songs in Chinese when bored. What does that make her?

Bad Angels

A lot of people are happy about Fleet Week; airplane lovers for the 'Blue Angel' air shows, ear plug manufacturers for the sales of the year, and women for the invasion in San Francisco of sailors. But there is one person that is not happy. Inside her house, she is quietly revolting in solitude. Will the mainstream media pick up on her agenda that the excessively loud planes should 'go home and sleep'?

Is it a Bird?!? Is it a Plane?!?

Getting your first bike is a pretty big deal. It is by far the easiest birthday present a parent will ever give as the success rate is about 98%. Of course there are exceptions, like the case with Miss Cupcake. She does not like her new bike? Oh, trust me. She loves it. However she did not get it for her birthday. Sexy Mom found it on the street. 

You all know my 'old cranky man's' view on anything related to flea markets. What I did not mention is the incredible hot looking cousin of the flea market; 'free stuff on the street'. In San Francisco, when people get tired of their stuff, some sell it in evil gatherings fueling the capitalist irrepressible thirst, and others more kindly spirited simply put the stuff on the street with a sign that says; 'free'. Bless you all for doing that.

The Couch Game 2.0

This is not about me being Swedish or anything, however I feel the need to give a word of support for my flat-boxed-furniture-for-incredible-prize making friends over at Ikea. So yes, going there with a large percentage of the population on a Saturday is ranked just under 'root canal' at the dentists, and I am still upset with them for removing the 'real' Swedish food from the store (white label... really?!?), however they do get it right sometimes. 

Scrolling

I cannot help to ponder, sitting here in my house surrounded by smart phones, computers and tablets, with a wi-fi signal penetrating my brain and probably making some kind of long-term damage; what on earth did parents do before technology came around? Open the door and have the kids roam the forests whenever mom and dad needed seven minutes to shower? 




It is no coincidence that I mention seven minutes, as this is how long an episode of 'Pocoyo' is, which enables me to shower, get dressed, do the dishes, iron the shirts, read the news and take the garbage out. Or shower at least. And even though kids should be outside running in the sun, technology is a great babysitter. And you can say what you want about Apple, but they do create easy to use products that even a two year old could use. Literally. 

CTRL + ALT+ DEL

The other day at work I had to install a 'simple application' to be able to do something even more trivial. To perform this task, I was assured that it was a matter of doing A, then swift on to B to later slam dunk the C while sipping a margarita on the beach.

The Birthday Crasher

I seem to recall an article about a man who entertained himself by getting into high security events simply by, as he put it, 'being well dressed, look important and busy'. I am not going to say that a child's birthday party in the Golden Gate Park compares to the Nobel festivities from a security point of view, but Miss Cupcake used the same approach to not only use the inflated jumping tower for her amusement, she also managed to get it to herself. 

Kisses, Jelly Beans and Rock n Roll

As a parent, it feels important to find a good balance between encouraging your child to take activities such as art, dance or sports to tickle their imagination and have them create in whatever form they like the most, at the same time as you want to make sure it is all a game on the child's terms. This is the rational approach. 

Go with what Van Halen Says

Our 'Guides to Surviving Modern Life and its Challenges' covers all spectra of everyday trails human kind encounters from cupcake eating, pizza making, time negotiation, playground show downs and lip tango.  

You're welcome by the way. We are simply happy to help. Today, we like to cover the simple art of changing level.

Das Fart

It doesn't really matter if you are a woman or a man, if you are young or old, if you live in the north, south, east or west, what language you speak or what organic yogurt brand you eat - there is one thing that is universal:

Farts makes us giggle!

Surprise!!

The thing I like most about surprises is not the part where you jump up behind the sofa screaming 'surprise' and you have Marilyn Monroe jump out of a cake singing 'Happy Birthday' (considering personal preferences, in this case it would probably have been Dennis Lyxen in a bikini). No, I love the part where you freak out the person that is going to receive the surprise. It is kind of like when I tickle Miss Cupcake. The funniest part are not the tickles themselves, but to attack slowly from far away, her knowing what is coming, and bursting into laughter even before I have reached her from all the excitement. 

Jamming

The other day Miss Cupcake and I we went to the beach, I mean, did the tax return... whatever. You know what I mean. On the way there, I put on some Velvet Underground, obvious choice of music when you are with a toddler. Miss Cupcake sits in silence, looking out of the window as the pastel colored San Francisco houses passes by, before she all of a sudden looks at me and bursts out; 'papa - rock n roll'!

Top 10 of 2011

I have mentioned it a number of times already, but 2011 will be surely remembered as 'the intensive' year. Between preparing, executing and settle into our move to San Francisco we also made sure to keep Uncle Sam busy with all kinds of forms to get a social security number, bank account, driver's licence and green card, as well as finding and decorating an apartment and getting Miss Cupcake into day care.

Cupcake on a Swing

I know you all have been anxiously awaiting the last episode of the biggest grossing trilogy in history after "The Lord of the Rings" and those books from the Swedish dude that everyone is reading, and I will not keep you waiting for one second more! After covering religion, I guess, and education, it is not time for the epic final [enter fireworks].