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We are Moving!

Close to three years, 458 posts, 41,674 page views. When I was sitting in the dark on the first night in San Francisco, bored and insanely awake at 4am with jet lag, I never expected that this blog would still be around today. I am sure glad that it is. 

And a common theme on this blog is change. Change of country, change of becoming a parent, change of workplace, change of housing, change of becoming a parent, again. Change, change, change.

Beware; Parents With Camera

What is it with parents and the need to communicate when their kids do things that millions of other kids have done, and will do in the future? A parade of photos and videos of burping, eating, sitting, walking and talking kids with hysterically proud parents announcing it like if it was the cure for cancer. 





In my mind, when your child is born, you have in your arm this tiny person, so small, so fragile, and so completely dependant on you to take care of it. And for some reason, this image get stuck in your mind. So whenever your child does something, burp, eat, sit or similar, you remember that tiny, fragile person that now can stick peas into his or hers nose by themselves.

Flipping It

I have always had a bad back now that I sit and stare into a computer monitor all day long. However with two children, my back now look back at this with a fond memory of what can only be considered a slight discomfort compared to what it has to endure now.

And it is obviously all my fault. It is not like Miss Cupcake came up with the idea of standing on my shoulders by herself, to later scream 'flip it', which is the queue for me to do exactly that - flip her. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but after a couple of times, the back is begging for mercy. So it is nice to had Mr Bear around, that takes 'flipping it' to a whole new, more mellow level.

Vocal Bears

I was dubbed by the nurses as the hospital where I was born as 'Gnölis', which would translate freely into something like 'the one that makes a lot of noises'. They even used this on charts; 'Gnölis' was washed this morning. Because that was what I was doing, constantly. Noises. A low, chanting like an Indian chief sitting by the fire to sing the evil spirits away. 

So when our pediatrician talked about Mr Bear as being 'very vocal', you might think of him following his dad's footsteps. But there is a big difference. Mr Bear is talking. He clearly is commenting on his surrounding, pondering on the state of the world, making funny comments about his parents. Too bad we don't understand. I am sure it is very interesting stuff. 

Viva Las Vegas, Baby

Life has different stages. When you are a child it is all about playing, and then you start liking girls and your life is ruined for ever trying to get their attention. Then you are off to university where you master in the art of jelly shots, and then it s time to start working and handle coming to work with a hang-over. And then… children. [dramatic pause]. 

A quick example; last time in Vegas I landed around noon, I was married at 2pm, out of cash at 5pm and drinking Gin & Tonics from then on. This time around, we came to Las Vegas with Miss Cupcake and Mr Bear, so things were somewhat different. We are already married, so not much point in re-doing that. We did put more emphasis on the hotel pool, the Bellagio fountain, the Eiffel Tower and other kid friendly things. 

Character Building Love

Having a sibling is a never ending source of material for 'build your character' help books. My case is obviously not any different. My dear sister introduced me to fun around the clock with games such as 'who can give most candy to the other' (I won) and 'how fast can you run after what I need' (always the same answer; faster than last time). Character building was the name.

You talk about how you understand what love really is when you have kids, because you had no idea you could love someone so much. Looking at Miss Cupcake and Mr Bear, the same thing happens; it is amazing to see how much they love each other already. Mr Bear will pay 100% focus on his big sister whenever she is in the room, and no one can make him laugh as she cans. And whenever Mr Bear is crying in the arms of an adult, Miss Cupcake is sure to scream across the room that 'you are making my baby brother sad!'.

The Joy of a Street Corner

There are many ways to define the benefits of a new job; more pay, a promotion, the corner office or a fancy title. For people living in San Francisco and commuting down to the South Bay each and every day, putting up with a lot of traffic, crazy amount of traffic or 'it is Thursday and everyone heads out early to go to Lake Tahoe' traffic, a simple phrase explains it all; South of Market. 

Wait a minute Mr Daddy? Are you implying that you are changing job? Nope. Even better, my lovely wife is! I couldn't be happier for her! Happy because it is a great position at a great company. Happy because I know how hard she worked to get it. And more than anything, incredibly happy that she will now be working in the SoMa district, at Pinterest. 

Up! Up! And away!

There are some benefits working for a large Silicon Valley company like Yahoo!, and interestingly sometimes these benefits become mortal enemies. Let me explain, last August the food became free on campus. This means breakfast, lunch and even dinner if you for some reason happen to still be around. Free food is obviously great. Who would complain?

Well, obviously the Swede will. Because the food being free is great, don't get me wrong, however there are things that you should have to pay for to reduce the temptation for over-consumption. Yes, I am talking about those devilishly attractive chocolate bars, soft drinks and potato chips. Yes, potato chips! For free! I simply don't have the integrity to say 'no'.  

How Technology Makes You Old

Technology profoundly changes our lives and they way we communicate, which is probably why each generation will remind the upcoming one of the time before this incredible change when we lived in a cave with a rock to play with. My parents for example will go on and on about their first television, which was in black and white with only two channels AND no remote control. This is about the time I am rolling my eyes, again.

 

And as the law of nature state to assure the universe does not collapse, I will obviously do the same with my kids. I will ramble about the first time I used a computer which was a small green screen with only two lines and a small dot to play with. At this point, my children will be rolling their eyes, as they have grown up in a house with more computers than people living in it.

Happiness is a Box of Bear

Having children is by many considered a life changing event, and they are talking about it in a positive way. Not the 'lack-of-sleep-always-covered-in-bodily-fluids-I'm-getting-wrinkles' kind of way. And to me the impact of parenthood on our lives is really a re-focus. With children you remember a lot of things you had long forgotten. 

You remember the thrill of standing behind the door waiting for someone to find you. You recall the rush of adrenaline of running really, really, really fast. You all of a sudden remember that an eraser can be your most valuable asset as it smells so nice. And most of all; you remember to laugh because there is no reason not to.  

Look-Alikes

First a quick warning that the complaining in this blog post might be based on the simple lack of a perception skill on my part. My last eye exam showed no obvious signs of deterioration in eye sight, but who knows. Or maybe it is just me taking yet another step to becoming a grumpy old man. Yes, who knows. But here it goes; I am amazed by people that spot similarities in new borns. 

When you have a child, and they are only days old, people will let you know that they have the ear lobe of your great grand father, and the eye lashes of your grand mothers neighbor. I'm sorry, but I just don't see it. And it is my child! 

Part Two

Being the sequel to a successful blockbuster is quite the challenge. Applying the same plot with the twist that worked wonders in the first movie will be a yawn and a quiet 'seen that already' comment in the sequel. I am a sequel myself, with an older sister, so I know what awaits Mr Bear. Because let's be honest; we love our children with the same endless, unconditional love, but the amount of pictures and movies goes down drastically with the second child.

But even though the excitement of the first poop, burp, hick-up and fart might not be greeted with exactly the same amount of 'first-time parents excitement' the second time around, the sequels have the luck of more confident, relaxed and experienced parents. And let's not forget; the sequels have surprising tricks up their sleeves that you did not expect, like the 'Baby-Bear-Spin-Off' move. You did not see that one the first time around, now did you?!?

DJ Bear

To be honest, my one goal with my kids is for them to be good people. Honest, kind, compassionate and loving people that take decisions based on what they believe in, and not what their surrounding pressures them into. I don't really care about what path they choose professionally, what soccer team they decide to support or where they decide to live. I just want them to be good people. 

They can have the hobbies they want; I will not intervene but try to be supportive. Except to brainwash them to be music lovers of course. Maybe it is as simple as life has a lot of ups and downs, and you need a good soundtrack to go with it. When Miss Cupcake was around two she let me know that the Beatles was on the radio - very proud dad. And Mr Bear is not far behind... 

There are some similarities in technique with Miss Cupcake...

Search Engine Optimization

Being on the same page is essential to be able to have meaningful communication. If this is not achieved, misunderstandings are very likely. An example you say? Lately at my place you hear frequently comments like 'how cute he is', or 'he looks so handome with that shirt', you know, comments that makes a man feel good about himself. However this is followed by 'time to change his diper' or 'he pooped himself', which most of the time means they are not talking about me.

No Place Like Home

Our European tour has concluded with sold-out venues, stellar ratings and fans stalking the hotels for days to get a glimpse of their idols. Or if you wish, countless encounters with friends and family (or as we like to call them; babysitters), all kinds of sofa beds and way too many hours in a plane.

I do admit that I should not complaint, the flight to Europe and back went way better than I could ever have imagined. This doesn't take away the fact that I asked the flight attendant at one point, when I have calculated that we were at least 6 hours into the flight, meaning 4 to go, and he informed me that we had 7 to go. I cried to myself. Then I ordered a beer. 

Real-Time Translation

I happen to speak three languages; Swedish, English and Spanish. Conclusion one; the brain is only made to manage one language. I find myself frequently knowing the perfect word in all languages except for the one that I need to use in that very moment. Conclusion two; I am not a translator. Because in these situation, I try to real-time translate and my brain is unfortunately not powered by Google Translate.  

This explains conversations like me wanting to say in Spanish that a girl probably was feeling embarrassed, and my super power real-time translator decided that saying she was probably pregnant was the best translation (the spanish 'embarazada' means that you are expecting a child). It took some follow-up explanations to straighten out that conversation…

Planning Not to Plan

The best advice around planning is to not do any of it. Planning is giving life a reason to disagree. I have always motivated my wife with the great plans for when we go back to 'Oh Me You; including bike rides along the river, picnics with stunning views of the Gulf of Bothnia and bumping into Dennis Lyxen so my wife can give him a hug, or two. Of these, we tend to have to settle for rain.

 

So the biggest problem when coming back and the north of Sweden decides to be on its best behavior, showering us with sun, the closest thing it can get to warm weather and more sun, is not the lack of plans, but the feeling of 'I should move back' because it is simply wonderful.

Oh My God 'Oh Me You'

It is impossible not to compare. Whenever you meet someone you haven't seen in ages you don't ask how they are doing because you care, but obviously to compare who has been doing better. So when I am back in my hometown of 'Oh Me You', the first thing to do is obviously to compare.

 

And I must say, the town has aged way better than I have. While I am facing hair loss and wrinkles, the city has woken up to be a vibrant city full of vintage clothing stores, hipster youth, and vanilla and blueberry mixed ice-cream (some things never change, and shouldn't). And Umeå hasn't even been the European Capital of Culture yet (next year)

The Practie Run

I obviously love my children very dearly, however I do not particularly enjoy traveling with them. Airports and planes are stressing enough without having to keep a three year old entertained (and restrained to her seat). With practice comes perfection (hopefully), so our European tour that is comping up should go perfect considering our little warm-up trip down to LA.

Santa Monica was on its best behavior with sunny days, a warm breeze, and flat, 'no-hills-to-push-strollers-over' streets. Both concepts unknown for people from San Francisco.