Feb 25, 2012

Buy Time Now and Get One For Free!

No news that kids can be somewhat of a hand-full at times. And when I say 'somewhat', I obviously mean  'somewhat' in the same way as when saying 'the Chinese wall is somewhat long', and with 'hand-full' I obviously mean that I have 46% more gray hairs since I am a father, and by 'at times' I obviously mean in the '7-11' way (remember that old store?!?).

One of my favorite parts is the 'need to buy time' mode. This is pure beauty. Not even a woman getting dressed to go out (oh - burn!) can take as long as a child that knows it is about to go home and needs to buy time to stay just a bit more.

Example; I get back after a car ride with Miss Cupcake, we take the elevator and while going up I tell her; 'we are going home now'. And I could see it right there, in that split second when the word 'home' left my mouth and entered her ear - panic mode. Red sirens went off in her little head, the troops aligned and general Frosting set up the tactic. And here it goes.

This happens at the Masonic Center in San Francisco, from the elevator to the street.
Approximate length: 45 meters.
Approximate time: 21 minutes.

1. Start off by faking an injury. Then sit down. 'Accidently' scream and laugh at the sound of the ecco. Then abuse this for a long time. Really long.
Time bought: 6 minutes.

'Can I get a ho-ho?!?'

2. The entrance is key as it forms a bottle neck. Time can be bought. Resist as long as possible. Enter 'let's play the doorman' game mode.
Time bought: 5 minutes

The 'I can see you through the window' trick. 

3. Second key point - the stairs. Simply pretend you forgot how to walk down. The sucker (read Mr Daddy) has his hands full with strollers and bags, he can't do a thing except kindly ask! And yes, pretend you forgot how to listen.
Time bought: 7 minutes.

Not going down. Come and get me. If you can. 

4. As your enemy is defenseless, head for the lateral and enjoy the view. Even ask to get your picture taken, that always work! Don´t lean out too much though, the 'safety' card might be used to your disadvantage.
Time bought: 3 minutes.

Just darling views! 

One thing is for sure though, at some point, you have to give up.

Not because you want to of course, just need to use the bathroom.

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