Sep 9, 2011

Captain's log: crossing the Atlantic

Captain's log - 5 pm

The year of the lord 2011. We have entered international waters on the way to the old continent in the search for spices, gold, virgins and grandparents. The winds are pushing us forward and the faith of the crew is good in spite of the terrible proviants provided. 

I have ordered sleep to prepare the crew. 

They follow orders.   

Captain's log - 2 am

Entered the old continent. The crew is tired but in good faith. 

The locals refer to the city as 'London', speak with a strange accent and are hysterical about security. They seem to come in peace, however ordered the crew to be prepared. One of the crew members is sick with fever, but she is strong and convinced to go through with the trip. I only work with the best. 

We have managed to find a vessel that will bring us towards the nordic countries - 'Ye old British Airways'. It is not the best of vessels, but it will take us there.  

Captain's log - lost track...

The nordic countries is even worst than I imagined! I have read stories about the city of Stockholm, but I only thought them to be legends told to children to not go out in the woods by themselves, but I am seeing it with my own eyes. The vikings is a huge people; both women, men and children are tall creatures with white hair. Not sure if these beasts are for real or if the lack of sleep is affecting my judgements. 

Everything is clean, so clean. The air is fresh. Everything is lined in perfect lines. Something strange is happening, they must be hiding something. I have asked to be brought to their leder, they have referred me to King 'Ikea' III.

We have bargained with the locals to find a vessel to bring us to the land of the Northern Lights, where we are told that one can find 'grandparents'. The crew has to wait a couple of hours. They are not happy about it but follow their captain. 

Captain's log - does this never end?!?!

The vessel is one of the smallest I have seen. On our trip to the north we have seen trees, trees, some trees, a lake and trees. No settlements seen so far. The wilderness is complete. The search for 'grandparents' is taking us further away then I ever imagined. 

At the harbour we asked around and could quickly find a 'grandparent'. The crew is happy, finally here, finally we found what we are looking for. All of our luggage was collected and a carriage was waiting to take us even further out in the woods to a lonely cottage we the crew can recover. There are trees, silence, food and bevarages. The cottage is surrounded by big creatures that roam the fields. The crew has named them 'moo'.

It's perfect. 

This trip should  be made into a movie. Thinking Brad Pitt as leading star...

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